Men of Purpose

2009-02-03T13:48:00.005-07:00

I went to a meeting last night at the church for men's group leaders. As is always the case when I go to such events (which hasn't been often) I'm the youngest by 10 years of anybody else there. To paint an even more accurate picture, 90% of the men there were more than 20 years older than me. This is the men's ministry of New Life Church. I'm the outsider.

I'm sure these groups are fantastic places to be for these men. The leaders at the meeting last night are an amalgam of top-notch men who fear the Lord, stand stalwart in defense of righteousness, and honestly pursue a passion for ministry, worship, truth, etc. One example is Jim Worden, who leads the Saturday men's breakfast meeting. He obviously has a desire to see men praying together and standing together for Jesus's glory, and I know he's impacted hundreds of men in our community.

But he doesn't understand my generation.

I think I am about as average as they come. I'm not charismatic. I don't have it all together like Aaron Stern or John Bolin. I'm not naturally gifted in public speaking or leadership. I'm part of the 70% - the huddled masses in the middle who are not glaringly bad or good - who are living life in a relatively boring albeit satisfying manner.

We all know 'that family'. The husband and wife have been in perpetual honeymoon mode for 10 years. They have 4 beautiful children at the Classical Academy. Their dishes and laundry are always done and put away. They have their 2 new cars and their house in Cordera paid for - even though they make less than you and had twice the student loan debt after college. They have 1 hour quiet times every day that are dynamic and prophetic. They can lead worship. They get plenty of sleep. Their lawn is neatly manicured. To top it all off, they have time to work out 4 times a week.

Maybe my envy is a little obvious here - and maybe I'm projecting my envy on an imaginary family that I think I see at church each week.

My point though, is that I am not that family. My lawn is ugly. There is a perpetual pile of laundry that never goes away. The dishes multiply before my very eyes. My mortgage doesn't seem to go down at all - in fact it seems to have gone up. My quiet times are sporadic and frequently forced or powerless. My son has an incurable disease.

And my life is awesome!

Consider the representative family at New Life who both come from broken homes or is trying to make a second marriage with step-kids, step-parents, and step-pets work. Military families who spend months away from dad and feel isolated and alone. People trying to recover from a debilitating injury. People who couldn't go to college and struggle to find / keep a job. People recovering from alcholism, abuse, dysfunctional families... the list goes on and on. These are the people that populate my swanky mega-church. We (including me) never see it, though.

The men in these families need a small group - a brotherhood of men who expect nothing but loyalty and support. We're barraged already by an unending stream of expectations to be the men we're supposed to be: Spend more time with your kids, help out with the housework, work harder to make more money to be able to upgrade your cars and house, read the Bible and have a quiet time every morning, read the latest marriage-enrichment book, work out so you don't get fat and unhealthy, save money for vacations, kids college, adoption, retirement, a mission trip, give to the needy - with faith - beyond your comfort level, be romantic with your wife, always listening and meeting her needs.

How do you expect these guys to respond when you say, "Oh, you also need to take one night a week and be involved in a men's small group."?

That's why I enjoy meeting Friday morning with the guys. I like that we don't have a list of questions or formulaic sharing times to go through. I know I could be better at emphasizing prayer for eachother - and getting together with the guys once a month for some men's night out thing.

I heard again at this meeting that Pastor Brady considers the men's ministry priority #1 for the church, and that he intends to lead the men's ministry. How, O God! can we strategically reach my generation?

2009-01-05T13:09:00.002-07:00

Here's the book we'll be going through starting in 2009. I placed a hold at the East library this morning - they said they had 2 copies available.

Kevin has decided to leave the group. We'll miss, you, Kev, and hope that you and the family prosper in 2009. Hopefully we'll keep in touch.

Groups Sunday is the 18th, so we may have some new recruits knocking on the door. I've decided to have an open-door policy with anyone who comes knocking - and not put it up for a vote like we did last year. I'm convinced that many guys in our stage of life are longing for connection with other guys and have very few outlets to fulfill that longing. I'd still like to make fellowship our top priority - with an open floor for any topic, concern, struggle, etc we may be facing. At times I have thought that our group was really shallow and needed more intense focus on issues we're dealing with. But I've decided that a more hands-off approach is better - mainly because, if you are anything like me, its difficult to go there so early in the morning. I'd really like to have a rotating guys night once a month or so where we can get out and do something together - at my house or your house - or somehwere for an appetizer or a round of golf or a game of racquetball - or a run like Matt and I used to do. Super bowl party anyone?

See you on Friday. Strength and Honor.

Group format

2008-08-22T10:40:00.003-07:00

I thought we had a very important and timely discussion this morning about men's ministry, our small group, and how to make it good, better, best, etc. I am concerned that the current format is too laid back, not focused, not intentional, and not challenging. While I think its phenomenal to just hang out and discuss life, politics, golf, or whatever - I think its important as a New Life Church small group to have some real ministry (whatever that means).

The organized men's ministry at the church, for some reason, is attended mostly by 50+ men with grown kids. While that would be extremely beneficial from a mentoring standpoint to guys in our group and others in our demographic, it just doesn't appeal to me (us) for a fellowship / freindship-based small group. We don't have the time in our busy schedules to dedicate a night every week away from home - mostly because a lot of us try as best we can to give our hard-working wife a break from the daily struggles of mommy-hood after beeing gone all day at work, in addition to other small groups and commitments (T-ball, ballet, soccer, etc.) we have during the rest of the week. And there may just be a cultural gap. To use perhaps a poor analogy with Christian music, the older generation is still listening to The Imperials or Petra while we're jamming out to Switchfoot or Falling Up.

Whatever the reason, I think we should expand a little beyond our current format of idle chatter with the occasional prayer request or thematic discussion of the book we're reading. Let's take turns hosting the guys once a month for a more focused time of "ministry". Whoever is hosting will be in charge of a devotional time or a testimony as to what God is doing in his life. I'll bring my guitar and we can have a time for worship (that's means I have to dust it off and practice, I guess). And we should have food and maybe a movie. We could also meet for pizza or bowling or a hockey game, or a game of touch football, or a trip up the incline, or even bring all our kids to a park, which would serve the double purpose of giving our wife a break from the kids AND meeting for manly fellowship.

I will try and be more organized with all of these changes so that we can be sure and put plans on the calendar way ahead of time.

Strength and Honor

Our Fall 2008 book

2008-08-22T10:35:00.004-07:00

This fall we will be reading Safely Home by Randy Alcorn, a work of fiction concerning the Chinese church. First discussion over chapter 1 September 5th. I found a copy at the library.

New Beginnings

2008-08-20T14:06:00.004-07:00

Okay, so I had high aspirations about the group blog. Obviously, it did not match my desire to keep it updated - which was extremely low. But, now is a time for new beginnings.

Since I am re-dedicating my passion for this blog, I thought I'd also kick around the idea of re-energizing the group format a little. Is it just me or has it been a little dull lately? My fault entirely as the Group's leader. Help me out, though... What is our purpose for meeting? Is it for the quick 3 minute prayer we (I, anyway) begrudgingly get to right before we all split? How can we make it more purposeful - especially since we are "Men of Purpose." Should we try and meet evenings once or twice a month for a more focused time of "ministry" (whatever that is), with worship and more discipleship, fellowship, etc? I feel like there is something missing that will take us to the next level. I want to be in a group that is passionate about being a man of integrity, passionate about being godly husbands and fathers, passionate about destroying the things in our lives that don't measure up to God's will. And I absolutely need other guys to sustain that passion in me - I can only assume that you all need that as well.

I welcome your suggestions, feedback, criticism, help, etc. There is such a great need for men's ministry for our demographic (mid 30's w/ kids) that is not being met by the current men's ministry, in my opinion. Why is that? How can we make it more accessible, more enjoyable, more worthwhile, more exciting, more indispensible? We need to brainstorm this this week. Hope you all can make it.

Strength and Honor,

Steve

2008-02-18T09:54:00.003-07:00

Principle #1: Dig it Up
The first 'thing' we simply MUST do, according to Dr. Henry Cloud, is search our selves for 2 kinds of personality traits: bad stuff and good stuff. What kind of baggage or weight have we been carrying on our back that is burdensome or hindering in our professional, relational, and spiritual lives? What kinds of traits are beneficial and needs to be girded up? Self-assessment or self-analysis every now and then is a healthy undertaking and leads to Principle #2 (although I think Dr. Cloud wanted to stretch 8 things into 9 things - 1 and 2 could easily have been the same principle)...

Principle #2: Pull the Tooth
The second thing we simply MUST do is to get rid of whatever is keeping us from achieving success in our professional, relational, or spiritual lives. Habitual sins, trends, ruts, self-destructive attitudes or behavior should be kicked to the curb. Successful people don't keep these things in their lives for long.

I haven't read Principle #3 yet, but I'm guessing it is to bolster the good things in our lives. I got the sense reading Principle #2 that Dr. Cloud had a goal to make his book a certain length and did whatever he had to do to get there. It is very repetitive and painstakingly drawn out. Integrity was much more enjoyable to read.

9 Things...

2008-01-18T08:24:00.000-07:00

Here's the book I chose to study. I recently finished "Integrity", by Dr. loud and enjoyed it so much that I wanted to read another from him. Integrity was geared more towards business leadership and how to successfully deal with people- much more than simply being honest and trustworthy. Those things are necessary, of course, but you can be honest and trustworthy and still not have the character required to deal with problem clients or fellow employees...

Here's the description of 9 Things... from amazon:

Nine practical, easy-to-grasp strategies to help readers discover behaviors and responses that successful individuals have in common. You can win in the game of life!
Have you ever wondered about the difference between those who win at love and live, and those who fail? By carefully observing people who gave him a certain "deja vu" feeling when he first met them, Dr. Henry Cloud made a remarkable discovery. No, he hadn't actually met these people before, but he had encountered their particular ways of handling life. And the common denominator with these individuals who practiced these "ways" was they were all successful!
They all... - Had healthy relationships - Reached their goals - Did not repeat the same mistakes - Were in control of their lives - Felt a sense of purpose
Dr. Cloud then decided to do something that was not the focus of his clinical training: investigate why successful people's lives were working, rather than trying to uncover what was broken in a person and trying to fix it. He learned that personal growth is not only about getting healthy, but also about the principles successful people invariably practice.
If you follow these nine principles, you can achieve great results in y our work, your relationships, and other areas of your life. Best of all, these principles are not limited to the chose few who are born with money, brains, or great talent. They're available to anyone who wants to transform average relationships and uncertain hopes into vibrant and achievable dreams.

A Thousand Shall Fall

2007-09-07T05:45:00.001-07:00

Blake has decided on the book we will go through together this fall. A Thousand Shall Fall by Susi Hasel Mundy. Based on the true story of a young German drafted into the Nazi army, an army and a nation that are in the wrong, he must follow God faithfully.If Schindler is valued for saving his population of Jews, Hasel deserves much more for the Jews he saved.You will be amazed at how God continues to work in miraculous and true ways even in the midst of World War II.

First Meeting is September 14th @ 6:30 a.m. @ Einstein's Cafe.

Men of Purpose, What is our Purpose?

2007-08-17T12:24:00.000-07:00

Welcome gents. Blake is due up next for a book selection - so until that occurs and we are all back from a summer sabbatical, I thought I'd just start up this blog and share some thoughts.

We will always lift each other up in prayer and encouragement.
We will be intentional about keeping our relationship strong and lifelong.
We will be accountable to other men
We will strive to improve our leadership skills
We will strive to be better husbands and fathers
We will not wuss out in today's cultural bombardment against us.